Brain Dead

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The sky is bright outside. I can see through the window. The thick curtains are drawn completely in my room. And it feels like dark winter.
Everything is warm and soothing on the inside.
Who wants to look outside. The reality.
Who wants the truth.

A girl can dream, can wish, can pray, can hope.
Can't she?!
I am just a girl.

It's times like this when I make no sense, I dislike myself.
Hate is a strong word, you see.
My fingers keep moving nonstop on the keyboard. It amazes me.
I pause. Why?!
To break the knuckles.
To rethink my thoughts.
To reorder my thoughts.
All jumbled up. Feels like a curled up bundle of wires. And the image of it in my head is disturbing.
But the pause makes it only worse.

Give me a warm thick blanket. I'll bury myself in it and never be seen.
Listen to Norah Jones.
And how she wants me to come away with her.
Heh.

Maybe I should go out. For a walk. Alone.
To shake off this feeling.

My feet is cold.
Numb. Is the feeling.

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